Monday, July 27, 2009

Keystone Light (2009 original review)

   AROMA 5/10   APPEARANCE 3/5   TASTE 4/10   PALATE 3/5   OVERALL 11/20
Chad9976 (597) - Albany, USA - MAR 1, 2010
We all know there’s an unwritten rule among beer geeks that all macro lagers are mediocre beers and the “light” versions of their also-ran products are just the absolute bottom of the barrel offerings. But is that really true? Well, as much as I do think Keystone Light is a mediocre beer, I have to admit it’s as least drinkable. When paired with junk food and/or a social setting it’s almost impressive just how non-offensive this mediocre beer can be.


Mainstream macro lagers are the butt of jokes among beer geeks for their resemblance to urine and Keystone Light is no exception. It definitely does fit that role and what’s even funnier is the fact this beer is completely tepid only seconds after it is poured out. It’s a crystal-clear shade of white gold and produces, initially, a fat, bright-white, foamy head but it eventually dissolves away to nothing and leaves zero indication it was ever poured into the glass in the first place (this beer would make a good CIA agent).

The aroma is almost non-existent, surprisingly enough. I do detect a slight soap-like scent but overall it’s very dry and slightly grainy. I’ve smelled much worse, to be sure, but a beer with almost no scent at all is indeed rare.

Honestly, I was ready, willing, and able to slam Keystone Light for being a beer offensive to the human palate on a global scale, but having actually drank some I was genuinely surprised I couldn’t honestly consider it as such.

This is perhaps the beer most lacking in flavor I have ever experienced. Many bargain-basement brews of this type are known for tasting as cheap as they sell for, but Keystone Light is actually at the point of being neutral. I does not taste good by any means, but it doesn’t taste bad and offensive, either.

I do detect a mostly watery, grainy palate as though it were just beer-flavored water. There’s no hops or malts to speak of, nor are there any adjuncts detectable. Dare I say I might actually get the slightest of a sweet taste to the palate, but it’s so ridiculously weak it cannot save this beer. It’s mediocre all around by virtue of its blandness since there’s just nothing to appreciate or enjoy here.


I was genuinely impressed at just how smooth Keystone Light was. Nearly all these macro lager imprints claim to be smooth, but their high carbonation and adjunct taste actually makes them difficult to drink. As the can says, this beer is “always smooth,” but considering it has the same consistency (and pretty much the same taste) as water, that comes as no surprise.


I paired two 24oz cans of Keystone Light with pizza and wings and I did not feel even remotely buzzed until nearly the end of my second serving (that’s the equivalent of four 12oz cans or bottles). It didn’t fill me up at all and I hardly noticed the effects until well into the drinking process. Mathematically speaking, a single individual serving of Keystone Light is appropriate for the lightest of lightweights and everyone above them. It is only 100 calories and 4.2% ABV, after all.


While I’ll never admit that Keystone Light is an even remotely good beer by any measure, the closest thing to a compliment I can give it is that it’s not nearly as bad as you might think. It would work well for Monday Night Football, frat and sorority parties, camping trips, and any other social situation where beer should be served and taste is no option, but money is tight.

Grade: 3/10

Read and watch my 2014 re-review here:

1 comment:

  1. Ya know so many beer snobs out there are always putting down our good old domesic beer. Where i come from we all drinking coors and bud light and like it. Some one had me try some stella beer and it tasted skunky to me so i think it is useless for one person to judge beer quality. Drinking what you like!