I poured a 750ml can into a 1-liter boot stein. It had a best before date of 6/30/14 and cost $2.19 ($0.09 per ounce).
Appearance: Glowing hue of yellow/gold with plenty of spastic
carbonation viewable. Pours to a large, white, soapy head which mostly
dissipates and leaves little lacing on the glass.
Smell: Not just a generic fizzy yellow beer smell, but a dirty one at that. Strong corn aroma and nothing else.
Taste: I’ve been reviewing macro adjunct lagers for a while now and even
the ones with the most notorious reputations I’m usually able to shrug
off as being mostly tolerable. Some have a sharp, tanginess at the
beginning or end, but in the case of Foster’s Lager that tang sensation
is present throughout the entire swig. It’s an offensive taste of metal
and general uncleanliness. Akin to that of a really cheap beer poured
through a really dirty tap. There’s no genuine malt character here and I
doubt the brewery has even heard of hops. This is a generic flavor I
usually associate with very strong and very foul-tasting malt liquors
and ice beers, so it’s surprising to find it in a mainstream beer like
Foster’s. I really do not understand the appeal at all.
Drinkability: While Foster’s Lager may taste worse than most fizzy
yellow beers of the general style, it drinks about as well as its
brethren. The mouthfeel is rather thin and flat, with a cold, wet
texture. It does feel a little abrasive on the tongue and lips, but it
goes down smooth and leaves virtually no aftertaste. I’m surprised it’s
4.9% ABV, as it has so little body it would seem to be that of a true
"light" beer. Not that this is something worth sessioning, anyway.